Lay people join the religious order in the “ministry of presence” for the terminally ill

NEW ORLEANS (CNS) – For over 100 years in the Archdiocese of New Orleans, the Servant Sisters of Mary have watched over the night to the terminally ill in their homes, a ministry of such charity that families who are caring for a loved one full time can’t begin to express their gratitude.

There are nine Servant Sisters of Mary living at the congregation’s motherhouse in the Gentilly neighborhood of New Orleans, but the demands of their service far exceed their ability to care for anyone who requests their presence.

To extend the scope of their ministry, the Servant Sisters of Mary invested at the beginning of August five lay people – four women and one man – in the Fraternity of the Lay Sons and Daughters of Saint Maria Soledad, which founded the congregation in 1851 in Madrid, in accordance with to the biblical imperative: “I was sick and you visited me.

It is the second lay fraternity that the Servant Sisters have established in the United States; the first was in Kansas. The order also has sisters in California.

Mother Lourdes Garcia said the five inaugural members from New Orleans have shown a desire in two years of prayer and training to serve in the ministry of presence.

New members received regular spiritual training and retreats, and they also learned some basic rules such as how to turn a still person in bed. Mostly, they are there to sit and pray for the person, giving the main caretaker a break.

New caregivers work with the sisters to adjust their schedules for home visits, including the length of each visit and whether they were going day or night.

“They become our brothers and sisters and a very, very close family,” said Mother Lourdes in the convent chapel after the investiture mass on August 7.

“They are part of us because they extend the mission. They are the bridge that God uses to share our ministry and our charism, ”she told the Clarion Herald, the Archdiocesan newspaper of New Orleans.

For Aloma Lykes, a parishioner of the Transfiguration of the Lord Parish in New Orleans, the decision to consider joining the new fellowship was born out of personal experience. During the last week of her life in December 2018, her husband, Winston, was taken into the care of the Servant Sisters of Mary.

“Winston was only in hospice care for a week, and it was such a blessing to have this little nun deal with my over 280-pound husband,” Lykes said. “She was telling me to go to sleep because I would be trying to help her fall asleep.

“She was praying. She didn’t want to sit down. She stayed up the whole time. She walked and prayed, walked and prayed.

One of the sweetest memories Lykes holds in his heart was just before Christmas, when eight nuns, who wear all-white clothes, climbed the long ramp outside his house and entered to sing carols. Xmas.

“Oh, that was wonderful,” Lykes said with a smile. “All the neighbors were watching. It was so special.

Other lay members of the new fellowship are the husband and wife team of Susan and Chris Todd, parishioners of St. Patrick’s Church in New Orleans who are retired from sales jobs; Barbara Hebert, a retired nurse who attends St. Matthew the Apostle Church in River Ridge; and Elsa Villa, a former Mexican diplomat who is a parishioner of Christ the King Parish in Terrytown.

“It’s going to meet a need that they have, that’s for sure,” said Hebert, whose nursing background gives him extensive experience in patient care. “Sisters cannot do everything, and I’m sure there are many, many more people in the community who could certainly benefit from all of these ministry offers.

The Todds laughed when asked if they could have imagined being involved in such a ministry. Chris was a sales rep who used bike stores in a tri-state area, and Susan spent many years in sales and also taught ESL at Delgado Community College, where she met for the first time the Servant Sisters of Mary who were enrolled for an associate degree in nursing.

“We’re always scared – I’m not going to deny it – because it’s just the fear of going forward and you don’t have any experience helping the sick,” Chris said. “It was a big step forward.”

“What we’ve learned,” said Susan, “is that you realize how much of a gift it is for someone to come in, even if they’re just sitting there and helping out. helping. We don’t do anything except maybe pray with them or just visit them. “

Chris said that even a small period of time off gives a full-time caregiver a much-needed break.

“It’s just to give (the main goalie) a break,” Chris said. “It lets them get out of the house, get in the car, maybe scream, cry or whatever, for a while because they’re there 24 hours.”

Villa had never heard of the Servant Sisters of Mary until she attended a Hispanic apostolate gathering at the Center Pontchartrain arena and saw them seated at a booth. She stopped and began to tell them about their ministry.

“I have received so much from God – so many blessings in my life – that I think I can say, ‘I’m here for you,’ Villa said. ‘It’s not that I consider myself to be doing much, but at least I know how to hold hands and say a prayer. “

Lykes said her first presentation to the sisters was when she and Winston were looking for a Saturday morning mass and found that one was being celebrated in the motherhouse chapel. She had also regularly seen the nuns dressed in white at mass in the old church of St. Frances Cabrini.

She still fails to grasp how the sisters live the gospel message by caring so completely for others.

“They do all of this for free – everything about them is so overwhelming,” Lykes said. “When I am stressed because of certain things, Mother Lourdes writes me a note and says: ‘This is Divine Providence, Aloma. Do not worry!'”

Mother Lourdes said the congregation is making plans for a second cohort of lay people. Those who feel called to the ministry are asked to contact her at the motherhouse. She understands that retirees may be afraid to do something outside of their comfort zone.

“It is always a fear, even for us to take this step and to compromise ourselves”, declared Mother Lourdes. “Because we know they expect something from us.”

“But, at the same time, we try to tell them that if it’s a vocation, you have to have the impression that it is a vocation”, she added, “because it is enough to say ‘Here I am. ‘and we send you and everything that happens is just a gift from God. In fact, it is not us doing it. It is God doing it.

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Finney is editor / general manager of the Clarion Herald, newspaper of the Archdiocese of New Orleans.